Rebellion

The teenage years have been on my heart and mind a lot recently. Namely because of one of my sons. I've been asking God for a way to explain that his walking in the world after being so close to God is just dumb. However, realizing that I'm dealing with a teenager, I needed a way to make sense to that particular time of life.

The Lord answered me with this...

What is rebellion? What is bucking the system? What is defiance? What is nonconformity? What is being unique and being different?

Satan is identified in Scripture as the ruler of this world.

Joh 14:30 I shall no longer speak many things with you, for the ruler of this world comes, and he has nothing in Me.


So, if Satan is the ruler of this world, that means that sin in all its forms is the norm. It means that rebellion against God and His law is the norm. That's the status quo. All this talk of doing my own thing, living the way I want, etc. is really just announcing to the world that you don't want to be different than anybody else. You're buying into the norm. You're being unique, just like everyone else. You're making a bold statement that you're just another sucker who's following Satan's lead like a dumb ox heading for the slaughter house without even knowing it.

Now that I have your attention, let's ask the real question here. How can I really be unique? How can I really be different? How can I express myself? Well, the norm is following Satan's lead and living in the things of this world. The opposite is taking a stand as a Christian and not compromising. Of course, that has some nasty side effects too...

Joh 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

Joh 17:14 I have given them Your Word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
Ouch. Doesn't sound like much fun does it. Course, taking a stand as a Christian, and being true to His law isn't always easy. Satan's way is easy, but it has a nasty ending. Being a Christian means being a Christian in front of everyone, not just those who are. You can't be doubleminded. You can't walk on both sides of the fence. You have to pick a side.

Old saying. "You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything". That predates the song with that in the lryics by a lot of years by the way.

So, what do we get for riding the fence? For not taking a stand?

Jas 4:4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever desires to be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
Jer 6:15 Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? No, they were not at all ashamed, nor could they blush; therefore they shall fall among those who fall. At the time that I visit them they shall be cast down, says Jehovah.
Sounds pretty clear to me. Either believe it and live it, or there are the consequences.

Here's the punchline. True rebellion is walking with God. Truly being unique is choosing to take a stand for God and His word. True difference and expression is separating yourself from the world and it's ways, and LIVING IT!

Satan makes out Christians to be weak, boring people who never have any fun. Why? Cause he doesn't want us rebelling against him. He wants to drag us down with him cause he hates all mankind. He knows that if he makes the other side look dull and wimpy and lame, we won't want to go.

Be a rebel. Take a stand. Express yourself. Be unique. Be different. Separate yourself from the herd. Walking with God isn't always easy, but it comes with TRUE power and authority. 

Let me tell you.... IT'S A WILD RIDE!!!

Prophecy

Well, we went to Friday night service this past Friday at RCCI. I knew going in that we were going to hear from the Lord, but I had not idea what about. This is what was given to me through the pastor. Christine got downloaded on too, but I'll leave that to her to share.

Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you Lord God for what you have begun to do within the life of Shawn. The Lord says, I am about to bring you into an arena of revelation, of discovery even, says the Lord. For I have begun a shift within your heart and within your spirit and I am going to bring you into another arena of things concerning My kingdom says the Lord God. Some things you have to unlearn and something’s you have to re-learn, but there are some new things that are in store for you says the Lord.
For even this dissatisfaction that had been rising up within you was not something that you have manufactured within your own heart, but, the Lord says, I’m the One that has been stirring you up and the Lord says, I’m going to bring you out of the passivity into a Holy Aggression says the Lord. For you have been marked and designated as one of My warriors! And the Lord says, I am going to teach you how to intercede and the Lord says I will put that fire within your belly , I will put it within your spirit and the Lord says, There I will begin to speak, there I will begin to work, there I will begin to deal and there I will begin to perfect you says the Lord. And you will begin to see things differently and the Lord says, I will make you a sharp and an accurate instrument in the arena of prayer and spiritual warfare. I will teach you when you start to read the Bible, you will see things that you did not see before. You say “How? How in the world did I not see that before, I’ve read this so many times!” But the Lord says I am going to show you how to do it right. The Lord says I am going to purge out all the leaven and any impurity, anything that is not of Me. The Lord says, In My presence it will be chased away by my Word, it will be purged and the Lord says you will be a strong and a mighty warrior and champion in my kingdom, in the arena of prayer you will give birth to it says God, and there is more for you says the Lord, but I will reveal it Myself to you, in the place of prayer, in the place of intimacy, in that arena in which I will make myself manifest! Says the Lord to You!

Faith vs. Religion

I've been thinking about the differences between the two for a while now. This morning I was given a very clear example.
Faith is like a gift you are given. It's not wrapped up, it doesn't have requirements. It's simple and clean and pure.
Religion is a wrapper around faith that we as humans put on it. The image I was given was of a pure gift being wrapped in a gift box, then wrapped in wrapping paper, and then wrapped with an entire roll of duct tape.
Till it's all said and done, you need a chainsaw to get at your gift. What's sad is that all the layers are what we put on it.

Year of Completion

Well, I've learned in the last few months that 7 is the number for completion according to Scriptures. If you are unsure of that, do a search throughout the Bible and see how the number 7 keeps popping up and what it refers to.

I know today was another wonderful illustration of it. Seven years ago today, I was in a church in south Houston dealing with guilt shame and uncertainty. Today, I stood up proudly in church when the pastor called for all the fathers to stand. I have been blessed this Father's Day with having Ricky and Logan. Having Ricky here for Father's Day just took it way over the top.

Both my boys were with me on this Father's Day. The only thing that would have made it better would have been having Hannah here. I know she would have been there too to share the joy of that moment with me if she'd been able, but I know I'm in her thoughts today too. And to add to everything, I got a call from Ariel this afternoon wishing me a Happy Father's Day.

It didn't really hit me till we got home the significance of it all. I was standing by the washing machine getting ready to go outside when it all came crashing in. Overwhelming is an understatement. I am thankful far beyond any ability to express it. Thank you Father.

Oh, two more things to be thankful for on this WONDERFUL day.
HOMEMADE BISCUITS AND GRAVY :)
and our local
GUITAR CENTER :)

Time to take a Stand

Well, a lot's been happening since my last entry. I've been reading a bunch of books, I'm in a class on purity now, and I'm learning (by field training) intercession. Today, something that's been speaking to me for a while finally came to a head. Christine and I are going to start a prayer group at church.

The name of the group is from Christine: The Shield of Faith

Ok. For those of you familiar with spiritual warfare, you already caught the first meaning. The second is that the name of our church is Faith Community Church. If you're not familiar with spiritual warfare, read up on Ephesians 6:16.

Above all, take the shield of faith, with which you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

I got the mission of the group. To protect the church and the members therein through prayer.

Like the title of this blog, it's a wild ride!

A Song for the Road

A few days ago, as I left for work, I felt compelled to turn on the radio "right now". So, having learned by now to listen to that little voice, I did. Here's the song that was playing. Talk about WOW!!! I feel like it's loosely my walk with God put to song.

"Far Away"
By Nickelback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Back on Track

Well, it's not quite been a year since the final thumping started. In that time, I've had the opportunity to meet W.O.M.E.N., be a part of rebuilding my mother's faith, witness in one way or another to quite a few complete strangers, and have the opportunity to have some real quality time with one of my nephews (what a promising young man he is).

I've also had the opportunity to explore the gifts that have been given to me and understand the office I move in. Needless to say, a whole lot of stuff in a real short time.

I see God's hand clearly in my everyday life, and boy am I grateful for it. Christine and I were baptized together on her birthday. Officially a new start for us in the right direction.

These days, we start every day with prayer, and Christine and I more often than not spend the waking hours after Logan goes to bed reading either the Scriptures or related books. Needless to say, God is no longer on the back burner.

Oh, and the drinking. Well, I still enjoy a beer from time to time, but the desire for it is gone. NO MORE HANGOVERS!!!! :)

This is the end of the history part of this blog. If you've managed to get this far without falling asleep, I hope this summary of my walk with God has some meaning for you. There are so many details I've omitted, but this wasn't meant to be a book. So, just the highlights for now.

May God bless you and keep you dear reader. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Thump to the Back of the Head #3

Here we are near the end of 2004. Things were going great. Our son Logan had been born of April of that year, financially we were not great but ok, and life in general was pretty good.

One morning, Christine was reading the paper and came across a job opening at the West Covina Unified School District. She showed it to me, and I read it and handed it back. I was perfectly content where I was and wasn't looking for a new job. Her words "well, you're going to apply aren't you?". Ok, when you're married you learn a lot about each other. Tone is a big one to pay attention to. So, I polished up my resume, filled out the application and sent it off.

Surprise, I wound up getting the job and taking on a very challenging and exciting position.

Now, before I'd mentioned that I was keeping God in a special place on the back burner. He was still there. However, slowly but surely He was making his presence known, and He wasn't too happy about where I was keeping Him.

Enter Ronnie. Also known as Thumper Jr.. I often refer to the Holy Spirit as Thumper, and boy she gets used a lot to relay messages that land with a thud.

From the time she became a part of our department, we've talked about religion and faith. In the beginning, the discussions were light, but they got deep quick. The major thump in this part of my life was the realization that the gifts mentioned in the New Testament were still alive and well.

When I first figured out that she was right and they were still around, and that I'd been given a few that I'd never properly identified before, boy was I upset. All those years in church, Christian home schooling, etc. None of them had prepared me for this or led me to even believe that they still existed.

Now, I was officially curious again. I wanted to know more. Started reading my Bible again. Started reading all kinds of books. I had officially started onto the on ramp.

Thump to the Back of the Head #2

Now, just so we're clear here. Just cause I was starting on the road back doesn't mean I was anywhere close to the freeway. I was still drinking like a fish, cattin' around, and generally yukin' it up.

Enter Christine, my beloved wife, mother of our children (and Auntie to our daughter--long story), and truly a blessed woman. We met (you guessed it) at a bar on July 3, 2000. I'm not going to go into the details of that night, but the next morning changed both our lives forever.

After I left that morning, I couldn't get her out of my head. We were supposed to meet later that day for the fireworks in downtown Houston. She didn't show. Boy was I mad. I wrote her off and went back to it. A little over a month later, I get a phone call. Guess who. Coulda knocked me over with a feather. Well, after much time on the phone and computer, she moved back out to Houston, and we were married in December of 2000. Not only did I become a husband that day, but I also became a father as well. My oldest son and first son, Ricky.

Through a weird set of circumstances, desires, and interesting times, we wound up here in SoCal around August 2001. I was looking for work, and having NO luck. I was talking to my brother Pat, and he asked if I was looking at work in universities at all. Well, no, I hadn't been, but I started. As is true of every job I've had since we've been married, Christine found what was to be my employer for the next three years.

Around Thanksgiving 2001 I started work at Azusa Pacific University. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, that's a Christian college founded in the Wesleyan persuasion. To be considered for employment, you had to put your statement of faith on the application. So, once again the Good Lord not so gently reminded me that he was still there.

Three years with some very Godly men and women who helped me deal with issues of comparing myself to others, thinking I wasn't good enough for God's grace anymore, etc. They truly helped me grow and heal.

Christine and I went to church a few times in there, but we never found a place where we felt at home.

That said, I still wasn't at a total point of going back. I was keeping God in a special little spot on the back burner to be used when necessary.

Thump to the Back of the Head #1

Ya know, with some of us the good Lord takes a subtle approach. Then there are those of us who are so hard headed that we need a not so gentle thump on the back of the head with a 2x4. Now, in case you're a little fuzzy on lumber terminology, that is a piece of lumber 2 inches thick and 4 inches wide. Makes a dandy club when cut to the right length.

So, here I am in Houston livin' it up. The project manager for the company I worked for invited me to his church. It was a casual invitation, and I thought about it. What I missed entirely was that the Sunday I agreed to go was also Father's Day. This was June 18th, 2000.

So, in my blissful ignorance (which is strange cause I remembered to call Dad) I went to church that Sunday. Oh boy. The sermon (you guessed it) was about fatherhood and recognizing the fathers in the congregation. The whole sermon I was squirming in my seat thinking about the abortion. I was being beaten up one side and down the other. Then, to top it all off, the preacher asked all the fathers in the congregation to stand and be recognized. Major deer-in-the-headlights moment. I didn't know what to do. Ultimately, I just sat there and suffered.

Finally, the service was over. Man, I could not get out of there fast enough. I all but ran for my truck. I wound up calling my sister Colleen on the way home and dumping on her. She was very understanding and supportive, and told me something that has stuck with me since. She said that since I had done this, I would have that much more love for my children when they came.

Lots to ponder, guilt to deal with, being convicted soundly, and not wanting to step foot in another church EVER again. That was Father's Day 2000 for me, and officially the first major thump in a series that changed the course of my walk back towards the Lord and his everlasting grace.

Goin Sideways

Little more background. I was home schooled by my Mom from 4th grade thru 12th. I was truly blessed with that. My mother's faith has always been a source of amazement for me, and her commitment to seeing me educated the way she and Dad thought was best has been a blessing to me throughout my life. However, all that Bible based schooling, being raised in a Christian household, and regular chruch didn't stop me from takin' a walk on the wild side.

Let's see, I started drinking around 16, and when I hit college I went all out. During my first year of college, Mom had a broken back (got knocked over by a horse) and Dad had a kidney transplant. Add that to a full class load, four part time jobs, and keeping up a farm cause I lived at home. So, since I'd decided to turn my back on God, I decided Jack Daniels would be a good substitute.

Well, long story short on that. I've had alcohol poisoning three times, and never been to a hospital. I did manage to graduate college, and started out my first job doin well in Philadelphia. By this time I felt that I was so far from God, that he wouldn't have me back. So, I kept goin. Women, lots of booze, experimenting with illegal stuff. Then I really got screwed up and wound up with an abortion on my record and a psychotic girlfriend that got me started on a web of lies to my parents.

Lying to my parents. Now that was truly hell. It ate at me constantly. Finally after three years, Miss Psycho did me a favor, screwed up royally, and gave me a good excuse to kick her out. After that was finished, I went home and fessed up to my parents. I had to set the record straight.

Fast forward a little bit. I was transfered to Houston to help start a new division in the company I worked for. I was feeling good. I was makin good money, had a great place to live, nice truck, and lots of "entertainment". Something was still off though. I still hadn't forgotten about God, my upbringing, or what it meant to be a Christian. Still wasn't ready to go back though. I was having too much fun when I wasn't hung over.

Early Start

As long as I can remember, church has been a part of my life. Of course, growing up with it like that can make you tend to take it for advantage. I very clearly remember Pastor Morey (Dr. Robert A. Morey) for some reason. I can't really remember all that he said, just that he made an impression.

I guess the next pastor figure who made a real impression on me was Pastor Ken Mick. Truly a man of God. I watched him struggle for years to light a fire in our church. It was kinda like watching someone try to light a camp fire in a thunderstorm. However, of all the Sunday school teachers, my Christian home schooling, etc., he was the one who has stuck in my head and heart all these years.

I was saved at 14 and baptized. Looking back, I said the words and meant them, but I didn't really understand what it meant to live it. Being a teenager in the throes of that hormone saturated time of life, living up to Christian ideals was almost impossible for me. Try as I might, I just couldn't seem to walk the walk.

So, around 17 I pretty much gave up. I decided it was time to walk my own walk and do my own thing. I never stopped believing in God or salvation thru Jesus Christ, but I wanted to do my own thing. So, off I went.